HUMOR & WIT DAY 3

A tourist was visiting Grand Canyon. While gazing at the dinosaur bones that were everywhere, he met an elderly Indian who acted as an unofficial guide.

“How old are these bones?” asked the tourist.
“Exactly one hundred million and six years old,” was the Indian’s reply.
“How can you be so definite?” inquired the tourist.
“Oh, a geologist told me they were one hundred million years old,” replied the Indian, “and that was exactly six years ago,”

On their first date, a man asked his companion if she’d like a drink.
“Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said.
Later, he offered her a cigarette.
“Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday class?” she said again.
On the drive home, he saw a motel. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked if she wanted to stop in there.
“Okay,” his date replied.
“What will you tell your Sunday school class?” he asked, shocked.
“The same thing I always tell them, “You don’t have to drink or smoke to have a good time.”

The easiest way to meet your neighbors is to play the stereo full blast at 3 a.m.

After one drink he felt ten years younger. After the second drink he felt like a new man. After the third drink he felt like a baby…. And crawled all the way home.

One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, “George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?”
“Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised George.
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.
“Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Clinton asked.
“Cut taxes and reduce the size of government,” advised Tom.
Clinton didn’t sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln’s ghost. “Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Clinton asked.
“Go to the theater.”

A door-to-door salesman rang the bell at a suburban home, and the door was opened by a ten year old boy puffing on a long black cigar.
Amazed, the salesman stammered, “Uh, are your parents home?”
The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked off the ashes and asked, “What do you think, dude?”

While attending a wedding reception of a friend, my husband and I stood watching as the happy couple opened their lovely gifts. As we saw a series of kitchen utensils, cookware, a dining service and a spice rack appear, my husband commented, “Well, they got all the right things, but what they really need is a gift certificate for groceries from the local market.” I replied that a more thoughtful gift would be catering service for a year. At that, my husband quipped, “True. But wouldn’t that just be postponing the inedible?”

Copyright 2007 by Sujanto Rusli
http://humorandwit.blogspot.com
http://economicslessons.blogspot.com
http://become-debt-free.blogspot.com