HUMOR & WIT DAY 2

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss were on their way to a lunch meeting. In the cab, they found a lamp. The boss rubbed it, and a genie appeared. “I’ll grant you one wish each,” the genie said.
Grabbing the lamp from his boss, the eager senior manager shouted, “I want to be on a fast boat in the Bahamas with no worries.” And, poof, he was gone.
The junior manager couldn’t keep quiet. He shouted, “I want to be in Miami, with beautiful girls, food and cocktails.” And, poof, he was gone.
Finally, it was the boss’s turn. “I want those idiots back in the office after lunch.”

A stranger entered the building and asked a boy standing in the lobby, “Can you tell me where Mr. John lives?”
The young man smiled and replied pleasantly, “Yes, sir. I’ll show you.”
Twelve flights up the boy pointed out a room as that belonging to Mr. John.
The man pounded on the door repeatedly and, after no response, commented,
“He’s not here.”
“Oh, no, sir,” replied the boy. “Mr. John was downstairs waiting in the lobby.”

A keen gardener saw his neighbor planting razor-blades in his potato patch. Ever eager to learn something new, he called over the hedge, “What are you expecting to grow Alf?”
“Chips” was the reply.

The doctor put Sam through a lot of tests because of a paralysis in his legs.
“Look, Doc,” said Sam. “Place a glass of whiskey on the table over there.
If I don’t make it I’m helpless.”

The inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: ”Wash. Biol. Surv.” Until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:
“Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.”
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

Mrs. Van der Bosh decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artists, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.”
“But, Mam, you are not wearing any of those things.”
“True enough,” said Mrs. Van der Bosh. “If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry.”

The children were doing somersaults in the bedroom, and because they had never seen a backward somersault, I show them one. My eight-year-old son was anxious to see my acrobatics, so he knelt close to me on the floor. As I came over backward, my heel hit his eyes.
After school the next day, my wife asked my son if the teacher had commented on his black eyes, “Yes,” he replied.
“Did the teacher laugh when you told her your Dad was doing somersaults?” asked my wife. “I’d never tell anyone Dad was turning somersaults, “he declared. “I told everyone that he kicked me.”

Copyright 2007 by Sujanto Rusli
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