Henry was placed in front of the firing squad, and just before the order to shoot was given, he yelled out, “Earthquake!” Everyone panicked. In the confusion, Henry jumped over the wall and escaped.
Charlie was next, and while the squad reassembled, he pondered what Henry had done. Before they could shoot, he shouted, “Tornado!” Again, the squad scattered and Charlie slipped away to safety.
Last in line was George. He thought, I see the pattern here. Just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall. As the firing squad raised their rifles and took aim, George grinned smugly and yelled, “Fire!”
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery recently. Suddenly on contemporary painting caught her eye.
“What on earth,” she inquired of the artist standing nearby, “is that?”
He smiled condescendingly. “That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.”
“Well, then,” snapped the little old lady, “why isn’t it?”
The farmer met his kin at the railroad station. “Uncle, I’m mighty glad to see you,” he greeted. “That crate of chickens you sent me bust open just as I was going to take ‘em out and they ran all over the place. I chase ‘em through my neighbor’s yard and only got back eleven.”
“You did okay,” said uncle. “I only sent you six.”
A man who celebrated a little too much one night woke up in the hospital the next day and saw his best friend sitting beside his bed.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Well,” began the friend, “it was like this. Last night you had quite a lot to drink, you walked over to the window, stepped over the sill, and announced you were going to fly around the town.”
“And you didn’t try to stop me?” screamed the patient. “What kind of a friend are you?”
“What are you screaming about? Last night I thought you could do it!”
In the middle of a forest there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted with a huge, mean bear. Full of fear, his attempt to shoot the bear was unsuccessful. He turned away and started to run as fast as he could. Finally, he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. But, he got on his knees, opened his arms and said, “My God! Please give this bear some religion!”
Then, there was a lightning bolt in the air and the bear stopped a few feet short of the hunter. The bear had a puzzled look for a moment, and then looked up into the air and said, “My God! Thank you for the food I am about to receive….”
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”
Our family was touring a historic mansion, where the guide was especially enthusiastic about its many charms. “This house is over a hundred years old,” she commented proudly,” and not a post or a beam in it has been repaired.”
A visitor spoke up, “I’m sure we’ve got the same landlord.”
Copyright 2008 by Sujanto Rusli
http://humorandwit.blogspot.com
http://become-debt-free.blogspot.com
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