Twenty years after leaving school, a woman moved back to her hometown. Needing dental work done, she quickly found a dentist in the phone book. There had been a tall, handsome boy in her class by the same name, she remembered as she made her appointment.
That morning, she spent extra time on her hair and put on a new dress, hoping to impress her classmate. When she saw him, however, she dismissed the thought. This balding man with the paunch was too old to have graduated with her.
Nevertheless, on her way out, she asked, “Did you graduate from the local school?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Class of ’84,”
“You were in my class!” she said.
“Really? What did you teach?”
Two teenagers on a tour of a modern art gallery found themselves alone in a room of modern sculpture. Staring at the twisted pipes, broken glass, and tangled shapes, one of them said, “Let’s get out of here before they accuse us of wrecking this place.”
Mr. Ursini stood on the bridge ready to jump. As he was poised on the brink of disaster. Father Callahan came to see him.
“My son, please come down from there. Nothing is worth dying for.”
“Is that so!” challenged Mr. Ursini, “My neighbor….remember when he ran off with my wife?”
“Yes,” said the priest, “but that was over a year ago. You’ve gotten over that.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Because.” Replied Mr. Ursini. “he called me this morning to say he’s bringing her back.”
Fred was having trouble with a drinking problem and swore that he would correct it with will-power. He had decided to walk straight past the pub without going in.
As he approached it he kept repeating to himself “You can do it. You can do it.”
The pressure was tough, but Fred persevered. Right past he went.
Fifty meters past and he congratulated himself, “I knew you could do it. You were great. Let’s go back and I’ll buy you a drink.”
As a senior citizen was driving down the interstate, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “George, honey, I just heard on the news that there’s some maniac in a car going the wrong way on 95…. Please be careful!”
“Heck, Louise,” said George, “It’s not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!”
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the policy at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch. Shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I came home to find all my possession stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
Being questioned for jury duty in a small town, a little old lady was asked if she knew the defense lawyer.
“Yes,” she snapped. “He’s a crook.”
“And the plaintiff’s lawyer?”
“Yes – he’s a crook too!”
The judge promptly called both lawyers to the bench and whispered, “If you ask her if she knows me, I’ll fine you both for contempt of court.”
Copyright 2008 by Sujanto Rusli
http://humorandwit.blogspot.com
http://become-debt-free.blogspot.com
http://economicslessons.blogspot.com
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