Two men were talking about hiring staff. “I’m a baker,” said one. “When I hire somebody, I let them eat as much as they want for the first couple of weeks. After a while, they are so sick of cakes, they couldn’t eat one even if they tried.”
“It’s a bit more complicated for me said the other man. “I’m a banker.”
The lady was trying to impress those at the party. “My family’s ancestry is very old,” she said. “It dates back to the days of King John of
“Well,” said the woman with a quiet smile, “I can’t really say. All our family records were lost in the Flood.”
A simple-minded chap was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, “Hello, Jimmy, where are you going with that table?”
And Jimmy replied, “I am taking it to the drapers shop to have it measured for a new tablecloth.”
Pete orders a glass of whiskey. He takes a sip of his drink and spits it out. “This stuff is terrible,” he says to the bartender.
“I don’t know what you are complaining about,” says the bartender. “You only got a shot. I’ve got twenty cases of the stuff.”
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing my mind, I swear we just went through a red light”
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was mistaken. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. She turned to the woman driving and said, “Olga! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”
The other lady replied: ”Relax, nobody is going to get killed, ok? Must I always remind you that this is
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
FBI: “Hello?”
Caller: “Hello, is this FBI?”
FBI: “Yes. What do you want?”
Caller: “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.”
FBI: “This will be noted.”
Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom’s house.
“Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?”
“Yeah!”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Sure they did.”
“Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”
The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing. The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled. Every morning for two years he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice it got him into a movie, once into the baseball park and once into the symphony. He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from the boss. One day he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music.
Copyright 2008 by Sujanto Rusli
http://humorandwit.blogspot.com
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http://economicslessons.blogspot.com
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