The counselor scratched his head. “Gee, it sounds like you two were made for each other,” he said. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem?” echoed
Lay Jone is concerned about truth in advertising. He says a lot of products are not as good as advertised. He says he bought a tube of Power Glue and the label fell off.
Charlie the cat was scampering all over the neighborhood down alley up fire escapes down cellars. A lady who knew Charlie’s owner knocked on his door.
“Your cat is running around like mad she said.”
“I know,” said the man. “He’s just been neutered and he’s rushing around cancelling engagement.”
The bartender refilled the glass from another bottle, and
“Uhhuh,”he said, “that’s Scotch.”
“But whose?” asked Sam. “Ballantine’s,” was the reply.
“Right again,” said Sam.
“How about this one?”
“Whose?” Old Granddad.” The crowd applauded.
Sam went to the men’s room, returned shortly with a full glass and gave it to
“Right,” said Sam. “But whose?”
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, “This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she’ll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?”
God replied, “An arm and a leg.”
Then Adam asked, “What can I get for a rib?”
The rest is history…….
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. Being a devoted husband he protested, but she said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn’t know what costume she’d be wearing, she thought she’d have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn’t around.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to his time to this new babe who had just arrived.
She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, and so off they went! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said: “Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you’re not there.” Then she asked, “Did you dance much?” He replied, “You know, I didn’t dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I’ll tell you… from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!”
The warden explained to the condemned man that he could have anything he wanted for his last meal. “Would you like lobster? Filet mignon or beef Wellington? Maybe some caviar or shrimp cocktail?”
“Nah,” the prisoner said, “I’ll just have a bowl of mushrooms.”
“Why mushroom?” the warden asked.
“Always been afraid to eat them.”
Copyright 2008 by Sujanto Rusli
http://humorandwit.blogspot.com
http://become-debt-free.blogspot.com
http://economicslessons.blogspot.com
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